Self-Respecting Woman

I am a self-respecting woman.
I look people in the eye when I talk
I give my honest opinions
I say no when I don’t want offers
I say yes to opportunities
I paint until my fingers chap
And I receive my awards with both hands

I am a self-respecting woman.
And my friends are self-respecting women
But you see, we were self-respecting women in uniforms,
when she was felt up in Daiso
when she was getting tuition
when he followed her off the bus
when he took pictures
when we sat during recess
and he flashed us from the other side of the fence

We were self-respecting women,
when we approached the nearest adults
when they lowered our hemlines
and pulled our skirts over our eyes

I am a self-respecting woman,
Because I, first and foremost, respect myself
And I will not heed your Well-Meaning Advice,
when you have your hand up my shorts,
and your eyes on my neck.

 

Fly in a Pizza Box

Hi.

My goodness this is so much weirder than I thought it would be, kinda reminds me about that oft-quoted Nietzsche abyss thing, where I stare into it and it stares back, and I stare at this blank space and I don’t know what to say. And of course the original Nietzsche quote has nothing to do about blogging platforms, and I don’t think he thought about it as he lost his mind clinging to a horse, but I think it applies. I’ve been meaning to start a blog for a while and it finally dawned on me that this might be my last chance to write things before I really start affecting this monster called Employability.

I figured that I could cloak everything in ambiguity and it’ll be fine. No one will arrest me or fault me for constantly talking about Thing A and Thing B and That Girl Over There.

And it’ll be cool if my friends (all seven of them wow, hi Annette) could read on how I’m doing in a more in-depth fashion over the summer break, because my life is obviously very important and nobody can do without a second of me talking. Cue Count Olaf: “You know, there’s a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.”

Also, I think it’s safe to start blogging again because I’m no longer a volatile 14-year-old idiot with dreams of becoming internet famous. I’m now just a 21-year-old idiot with dreams of renting a decent living arrangement and having enough protein in my diet. It was such a pain to choose a blog theme though, and I don’t even like the current one. I can’t find one that a) doesn’t make me look like a 28-year-old bride-to-be or b) doesn’t look like the friggin Airbnb website.

Ok bye.

Oh wait right, as for the title of the post, I had pizza al fresco today with some other people and we were closing the pizza boxes. A fly thought it was the opportune moment to land on an oil splotch and have a fly buffet, and there were two pizza slices left. Imagine what it would be like if we closed the box on the fly and it would be trapped in this eternal heaven/hell space (for fly standards). Doesn’t that sound like a poetic metaphor for what we’re all in right now.